Thursday, March 26, 2009
Insane in the Membrain...Insane in the Brain
Sometimes we do things for own sanity. Sometimes those things look insane to other people but are normal to yourself. I need a weight room for my sanity. I need to exercise to the point that I have to change plans to fit my workouts instead of the other way around. It sounds stupid to other people and when the ask why, I have no answer. There is no answer, no matter how I try to explain why I need to be there, they still wouldn't be able to understand. I myself cannot explain it, its just something I need to do. It's not a vanity thing, It more of a sanctuary thing. I can gather my thoughts, I can relieve stress, I can structure my life. We all have those places, mine just happens to be somewhere I can lift. At times it can be saddening when I'm in the gym instead of where my friends are, but if I don't go there is constant anxiety. In my case the gym can be damaging health rather than strengthening it.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Cellphones Ruin Life
I am sound asleep. I specifically remember my dream. I am talking to my then girlfriend and try to break the news the news that I wanted to break up with her. In the dream I was saying everything I rehearsed before. "Hey, I really wanted this to work, but there is nothing there for me." "I don't like to force things, and this feels forced". "You deserve a guy way taller than me." As i anxiously anticipate her reaction in the dream I am awaken by a my cell phone. It's a text message from Madeline "Hey you want to go running". The answer, "No." I turn off my cell phone and go back to sleep.
It is twelve in the afternoon. My bags are packed, my snacks are in a lunchbox and I just made a last run to bathroom to empty everything in my tank. I was ready for a road trip with three of my friends to California. Soon I would be soaking up the son and learning how to surf. I then feel my cellphone vibrate in my pant pocket. I figured it was one of my friends letting me know they are on their way to pick me up. It wasn't. My work called me in.
It was supposed to be the night of my first date with Jenny. She had be texted me all week and I knew she was really looking forward to it. I picked up my cellphone at 5:30 p.m. and let her know I was going to be picking her up around 8 p.m. when I get off work. On my way to work I made a stop at my friend house to drop off some stuff he left in my car. He is waiting outside for me as I pull up.
"I have good news and I have great news." He says
"What is it?"
"The good news is you don't have to go to work right now. The great news is I have four tickets to the Sun's game tonight".
Keep in mind I have never been to a Suns game and these tickets were $125.00 pop. I had no choice, you can't turn down free Suns tickets. I texted her at 5:45 p.m. fifteen minutes after I just made plans with her. To give me a little bit of credit I was honest with her and told I wanted to go the Suns game and I only pushed back the plans that night.
I picked her up at 10:30 p.m. and took her out.
It is twelve in the afternoon. My bags are packed, my snacks are in a lunchbox and I just made a last run to bathroom to empty everything in my tank. I was ready for a road trip with three of my friends to California. Soon I would be soaking up the son and learning how to surf. I then feel my cellphone vibrate in my pant pocket. I figured it was one of my friends letting me know they are on their way to pick me up. It wasn't. My work called me in.
It was supposed to be the night of my first date with Jenny. She had be texted me all week and I knew she was really looking forward to it. I picked up my cellphone at 5:30 p.m. and let her know I was going to be picking her up around 8 p.m. when I get off work. On my way to work I made a stop at my friend house to drop off some stuff he left in my car. He is waiting outside for me as I pull up.
"I have good news and I have great news." He says
"What is it?"
"The good news is you don't have to go to work right now. The great news is I have four tickets to the Sun's game tonight".
Keep in mind I have never been to a Suns game and these tickets were $125.00 pop. I had no choice, you can't turn down free Suns tickets. I texted her at 5:45 p.m. fifteen minutes after I just made plans with her. To give me a little bit of credit I was honest with her and told I wanted to go the Suns game and I only pushed back the plans that night.
I picked her up at 10:30 p.m. and took her out.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Outside
Well i wish i didn't wait till it got dark to do this post...
The pool water is very still. The only ripples in the water are created from a dolphin chlorine dispenser that is wearing sunglasses and a smile so big it looks like he just got a happy ending at a massage parlor. There are some mosquitoes hovering over light I turned on, one came near me and I screamed and starting running while throwing my arms around to try and bat it away. I then immediately did push ups and spoke in a deeper tone to secure my masculinity. It has been like three minutes, I really wish i didn't do this at night. There is a full moon and the skies are clear. I see several planes going over head.
My attention span is very limited, so my mind was constantly wandering. Oh, look a new season of Real World/Road Rules challenge! Anyway so throughout this little experiment the mosquitoes just reminded me of how much I hate bugs. Then that reminded me of the giant red bump on my ass from a mosquito bight. Then that reminded me of the baboons with the red asses. Long story short I some how came back inside picturing a midget on a unicycle juggling dildos.
The pool water is very still. The only ripples in the water are created from a dolphin chlorine dispenser that is wearing sunglasses and a smile so big it looks like he just got a happy ending at a massage parlor. There are some mosquitoes hovering over light I turned on, one came near me and I screamed and starting running while throwing my arms around to try and bat it away. I then immediately did push ups and spoke in a deeper tone to secure my masculinity. It has been like three minutes, I really wish i didn't do this at night. There is a full moon and the skies are clear. I see several planes going over head.
My attention span is very limited, so my mind was constantly wandering. Oh, look a new season of Real World/Road Rules challenge! Anyway so throughout this little experiment the mosquitoes just reminded me of how much I hate bugs. Then that reminded me of the giant red bump on my ass from a mosquito bight. Then that reminded me of the baboons with the red asses. Long story short I some how came back inside picturing a midget on a unicycle juggling dildos.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Basketball
Almost every weeknight my friends and I go the LA fitness in Scottsdale to play basketball. This night was no different. Tonight it was me, and two of my other friends who are look as athletic as John Goodman. One is about five foot six inches and weighs two hundred and fifty pounds. For man his size he moves pretty well, like a gazelle, well a gazelle with a broken leg who suffers from yellow fever. The other is six feet two inches and maybe weighs one hundred and fifty pounds after a big meal. He lacks hand eye coordination and he looks like he is running valet with the way he goes up and down the court. I am the most athletic of us three but the skill of basketball is beyond me. I have an easier time off the court scoring than I do on the court, and that doesn't say much about my personal life.
We call next game when we get there. The people there are skilled considering its a pick up basketball game. They hit the open jumpers, don't miss lay ups, and can handle the ball well. We were in trouble. We pick up two other players who probably couldn't even make the Special Olympic's basketball team and begin the game. The score was eleven to one after the first five minutes. Our only basket was the result of a prayer that was answered. I guess God really likes basketball, or feels really sorry for us.
The last time I was embarrassed this badly involved me, full frontal nudity, and a senior football player. Being on the freshman football team I was subject to much hazing. That day was a cold day, very cold, so everything was going against me. As soon as I walked outside with my food I saw a shadow behind me and then felt a very cool breeze. Unfortunately both my hands were occupied holding the tray of food. So not only did I loose four dollars of lunch because I dropped the tray, my ass was put on display for the entire school.
Although this game wasn't as embarrassing as getting depantsed it was a little more shameful. The only double double I was getting that night was at In and Out when we all left.
We call next game when we get there. The people there are skilled considering its a pick up basketball game. They hit the open jumpers, don't miss lay ups, and can handle the ball well. We were in trouble. We pick up two other players who probably couldn't even make the Special Olympic's basketball team and begin the game. The score was eleven to one after the first five minutes. Our only basket was the result of a prayer that was answered. I guess God really likes basketball, or feels really sorry for us.
The last time I was embarrassed this badly involved me, full frontal nudity, and a senior football player. Being on the freshman football team I was subject to much hazing. That day was a cold day, very cold, so everything was going against me. As soon as I walked outside with my food I saw a shadow behind me and then felt a very cool breeze. Unfortunately both my hands were occupied holding the tray of food. So not only did I loose four dollars of lunch because I dropped the tray, my ass was put on display for the entire school.
Although this game wasn't as embarrassing as getting depantsed it was a little more shameful. The only double double I was getting that night was at In and Out when we all left.
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