I sat on the piano bench for the first time. My instructor kept her eyes still on my hands and directed my fingers as I completed scales for the first time. My hands were very small and it took a effort to push the keys down. As my hands slowly finished the scale my mind wandered as to why I was being put through this.
It was my first recital. Only my mother came. I was the last person to perform, meaning I was the most advanced of the students. My hands shook throughout both performances and I was using my heart beat as my metronome.
It was the talent show of my senior year in high school. I had been preparing a song for over four months. It was a jazz version of Flight of the Bumble Bee. My fingers pressed the keys with authority as my hands glided across piano. Each note had a feeling, each note showed an expression. The ending was filled with sound, it was powerful, it was glorious. The only thing louder were the roars of the standing crowd as I walked off stage. I then knew why I was put through this.
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That is a good example of a collage essay. Every scene had something to do with one another. I liked how at the end you answered the question, “Why am I being put through this?” The detail you used brought the story to life. For example, “The only thing louder were the roars of the standing crowd as I walked off stage.” I was able to create a picture of that in my head. I also liked how you started the story off with the first time you played the piano and then showed the accomplishments you have made.
ReplyDeleteWow! What a great talent, I thought to myself as I was reading your blog. Your blog demonstrated every aspect of a collage essay. I liked how every little detail had to do with the next piece coming up. The beginning of your piece was very interesting working your way toward high school and demonstrating your talent and all your achievements. I liked how you ended your blog with, “I then knew why I was put through this”, leaving the readers mind with an open mind. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your reading your piece. It fell in perfect line with the format of a lyrics essay and i enjoyed the fact that it was centered around music. It was easy to see that the piano was your unifying theme and that both experiences were different yet similar. Also your voice and detail really helped unify both experiences into something special. Nice job and keep writing.
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