Unit 4 groups

Blake -

I must say man you have some great posts in your blog. Everything is very detailed and provides wonderful imagery. I'm glad we had a chance to work together this semester, hopefully we can each learn something from each other.

Ok one of my favorite posts was the Dormitory section of the Living situation post. It was great because i knew exactly how you felt. I loved how you explained he was jerk that basically just ignored you completely. Just the idea of that is hysterical. I can imagine him just being in your way 24/7 on purpose just to piss you off then acting like nothing happened. That was great. I like how you acknowledge how much you write about your work at the hospital, its funny and yet there is nothing wrong with that because each post different. On that topic, another one of my favorites was A Case of the Mondays post. My favorite line was, "I dodge the whole situation by calling her ‘hey’." I can never remember names so it was something I relate to a whole lot. I think stories about the workplace are pretty interesting, especially when you give great insight at something like a hospital. Sometimes places that have that serious attitude can have the best comedy in between the lines. My third favorite was the French Braid story because it seemed pretty unique from the rest of your posts. There was a point of view change that first was a little bit confusing at first, but after i reread it, it became clear. The detail was great in the story and how built the tension in an ultimate frisbee game, which by the way are totally underrated.

Ok as far as things to work on, sometimes the sentances are not flowing quite right. It can be fixed once you reread it a couple times not a big deal. But I would like to make the language more lyrical in a sense. Like the word choice should flow from each sentance and be consistent. That's something I have been working on and its tough, but it really helps the reading of a story. The grammatical and spelling errors not a huge deal, I make them more than anyone. So besides that man just keep developing the writing, and I'm looking forward to reading some more of your work!

Diana

I would like to say I also volunteered at a hospital for over a year, so I know how you feel. I hated it, I don't like old people, especially old smelley complainy people haha, so it sucked and I commend you for going through it.

I really liked your poem Another day. It shows the hard work that most of us college students go through and the sometimes boring routine we all deal with it. It just really shows that never ending struggle with daily life and trying something new and in the end, the daily life usually always wins. Your post Peace was great. It was so open ended yet specific. It gave me scenes and feelings but didn't necessarily tell me how to feel, thats a great thing. You want to be able to express yourself through the writing and thats something that you defintiely have a knack for. The other post I really liked was "Eventually took its toll". The overall feeling and description of this story brought back a lot of old memories for me and it was great. It's pretty creative to show how many memories are held inside a couch, and its true. It can be a part of almost any scene in life.

In your future writing I would like for you to use more concrete details. I know your writing now is focused around feeling and emotion and thats great. However I would like some more concrete details to ground the reader in scene. Let us know where were are, then dive into whats going around your. Add that to your writing and the skys the limit. Looking forward to working with you Diana